december air

the brisk cold air felt like a slap to the face

it’s crazy to think about it,

but i needed that awakening

i stepped out to walk my dog

and ultimately clear my head

from all the thoughts that have been haunting me tirelessly

as i looked at her, off her leash,

running, exploring,

i wondered to myself when i’d ever feel that free

when would i ever be so carefree,

as to run wild in a beautiful naïveté, just as my dog did?

when would i ever be so free,

as to explore, to feel, to express

my whims and desires,

just as my dog did?

when would i take myself off my own leash and just live?

life, now more than ever,

has felt like a game of survival.

each day a more arduous challenge than the last

in some ways, i envy my dog.

she gets to love unconditionally

and be loved back just as much

she gets to wake up

and not worry about the frugal

and ultimately meaningless qualms of human existence

she gets to wake up

and just be,

just live

alas, i am no dog

and there is no escaping

the often painful conditions that come with humanity

so all i get

are these brief moments in time,

when the cool december air

slaps all the daunting thoughts from my head,

and i get to just observe my precious pet

and live vicariously through her freedom